wanna go halves on a baby?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
