Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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