I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
