As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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