you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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