what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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