I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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