that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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