Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
