I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
