you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
