she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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