so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We're too hungover to prance.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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