This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
