yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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