Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
