I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
