My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
