That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
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