rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
