Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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