Already got asked if we're dating
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
