I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
