...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
