dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
