IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
