I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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