I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Panties = found
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
