Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
