weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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