problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
