I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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