We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
then he tried to convert me to islam
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
