I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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