Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
