I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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