what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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