It's a beautiful day for a hangover
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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