But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
