hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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