Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
