At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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