office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
