Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
