so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
