I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
