i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
