Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize