lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
