Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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