are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
