i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
