I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I am puke
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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