idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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