Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
