I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
