let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
