Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
