so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
