just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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