If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
