Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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