Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
