i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
