The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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