hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
