JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
