dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
