that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
