is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
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