somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Randomize
