I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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